alas fair maidens,s (tails to tale)
like "nigey" they still have their charms
as standing there where eagles dare  (time for some indian smarms)
as all alone like a dog on a hone kisses from pool and a prat
edward confessor he,s cross as a dresser  all comes so along for a "chat"
as in the glooming the dark of the rooming i,ve lived on the darkness as side
but oh "goody goody" as big bad gets woody , splarkling cyanide
like michael of mincing who,s hair all need,s rinsing it,s keep your backs to the wall
for this evincing this oh so convincing ,, by now i,d just heart it all
 (claiming for shaming all bringing me sunshine  reckless nor feckless as bringing me love
as he,d been smitten not "big um as tittum"by cupids sharp arrow "the chick,s of love
a nightingale singing in ber-ke-ley minging  (remember we both heard it there)
as no take of mickey from licky me chicky  over this white cliff,s he,ll swear
cause tracey said ( well she,d been to bed ) she took it lying down
he was so smooth did the record groove as he wore his evening gown
and  o.k.  yah from another the bar hideous ciggy and pernod
careless talk costs readers wives but who,s in the mincing inferno
cause sicky me chicky as ricky look,s tricky a culture of vulture he,s in for the swoon
and chime to the rhyme and leave him all standing the sailor looks all set to swoon
cause were they all just playing leapfrog playing leapfrog one to ten
cause are we human or just dancer
cause it,s all here and now and it,s all now and then

But "Nicky get your knickers off" Prince charming he disarms
As "poshnobs" goes would  this come to blows we hear these ripping yarns
  But  left or right or an amber light or maybe straight ahead
  A dim side street would the footsteps fleet would the smeagol beagle tread
Cause it,s all " boo hoo" how we know it,s true like the tweety bird went round
The "high plains mincer" "bouffant rincer" ..  was he really sound
And the elm tree sways as the band it plays but would the doorbell ring
Well thats what he heard had as the pussy purred  it,s a ding a ling a ling
  But the "fat man" ran past the lager can ... it,s just not one to pass
  And it,s "Rick the third whom you might have heard And it,s through the looking glass
And it,s mind your word,s of the tweety birdsof the guy fawkes inquisition

Just the S & M of the me or them
  It,s  the "spanish mince position".

but the big bad granny,s . . transistors trannys,s
 groove to the smooth to  the dancefloor blare
and  love cat,s or love rat,s or as pam might say love prats
  we all tip our top hats but who,s  in a snare

  but  horny tricorny it,s fidico forny the red,s she,s riding if you woold
  "chum disease" is it one to please  it,s a laughing gnome in an urban  wood
"hello" "goodbye" but  he,s not in his sty . . .  tainted love,s like  a prison cell
the rebel look but the time  it took the rips and the studs and  shower gel
and  it,s time to "mince carter" he,s not one to barter
( some say that belsen was a gas)
a destination railway station a dark side road  an underpass
but it,s studded glove verses "tainted love"  it,s said by some that odd,s are evens
but who,s behind that dark green door, it,s the human leaque or it,s shakin stevens
but at "death,s  disco" it,s all go go go it,s lime and lager priceee,s fair
 a "hooded claw" you can,t be too sure  a whispered a look a muttered st
but the "my my my" would the big bad fry  it,s said the stairs went round and round
   would  the big bad wolf rise is the granny ,s frys
who.s well out to lunch but and who,s just  gone to ground