in amsterdam they got some ham
all spreadeagled centrefold
chicky chops from seedy shops
if the truth it dare be told
and time to grass around to grass
( through customs it did come to pass)
as kings lead hat we talk about that
she,s so true loves contender
and try not to laugh but the autograph
(the charms of the great pretender)
but it could be a true case "chickys in love"
but he hasn,t been getting it lately
so rhyme to the chime of piggy in time
and score one hundred and eighty 

but is it time to place your bets ?
 to smoke some . . . menthol cigarettes ?
and tread as quiet as a mouse in that silent eeries house
 on that carpet thick and lush  purse your lip,s it,s time to hush
as in a land of hush to hush  buxom babes  of fable
and sir slick who,s chick to chick the fabled knights of  table
  cause ll to see it,s all to be at one o,clock in the morning
lady caroline standing there her brocade half  open and yawnin
  but might she spot that tale tell blush  (oh so very nearly)
as you try a fly might fly your heart is aching really
but spare me talk of open robes
medieval babes and golden globes. . . .  toga toga orgy 
he tried his best we heard the rest
arise sir georgy porgy

on the carpet thread
 hear the footsteps tread
but who,s his . . .  queen of hearts ?
  tim . . . who. . . phoned
 he,s been . . . dethroned ?

but when your
. . . . watching darts . . . .