save the last dance it,s all true or romance
so like a turkey united she,ll bleat
as ding-a-ling-dong he,s so all string along our centre forward is really a cheat
a roast to a boast well he,s really the toast
he,s so interstellar and so iv,e got a bike
although shes no dime to the old pompey chime our "vivian anderson lookalike"
but hotpants to hotchants (mad ant,s in dance trance)
she,s so erudite and just so full of tact
if we,d have started off with keegan we,d have won and that,s a fact
but her hearts set he,s so sure of a bet  is she all hotchants or somehow all rough
(the games a bit dull and the crowds a bit lull
until above the sound of silence  comes the bark of brian clough
but greasy as mittums this tale of two tittums
this tale tale of laughter of guffaw,s and scoff
(the chant goes up for fillery . . . so is it time to take mayes off)
until in due it,s the end of the line for a love so unrequited
(we taunt the "old man old man old man")
who,s playing for leeds united

like tracy said she,d been to bed
 you,d hate yourself in the morning
"cock a doo" we know it,s true it,s t.v am and it,s yawning
but tissue a tissue we all duck the issue love me tender scream and shout
it,s just not a ball for a young mr hall (just a royal knock one out)
cause gormen it,s ghasty (a cheap porky pasty) theres just no accounting for taste
but such a rumour it,s not one to humour (theres just no accounting for haste
but groundhogs today .... it all goes asplay .... time after time after time
gunnies in greedy ... a laughing gnome needy ... swine after swine after swine
as i know now why the caged bird mings as in due time the postman rings
as somewhere a tick tock things
chime after chime after chime

but "summerswine"  sang the fun boy three
but who said that the wind that it,s breezy
and who,s "mincing around" with "notorious bottom"
that bloke in the smoke the big easy
but up the back alley "how green was my valley"
a motely green "stagnation" hue
"pisces" or "taurus" but "i am the walrus"
the window,s wide open but "goo goo j,goob"
a chiller come swiller a hollywood thriller
the "rear window" drapes and they,re well  tinged with dust
it,s not like the "ritz" but some like it "pomme fritz"
it,s a case of "cracklycornfedlust"
but "meet the boy,s cause the boy,s are here"
miss piggy,s in the muppet show
it came to a head it,s a two page spread and it,s "radio ga ga radio"
because "good morning worm your honour"
"worm your honour" ... "weeping wall"
it,s the "speed of life" or it,s "be my wife"
when the "rammed" met the "hammed"
now it,s curtain call ??

it,s all so smoothy an afternoon movie
plan 9 from far outer space
butas the plot thickend it,s time to roast chicken.s
( a shame about the face )
but dave,s in a mess and i,ve just lost at chess
to big steve who lives up the stairs
but we get talking it,s all jay talk stalking
"thingy-me-pig" well who cares
but i,m left all alone like a dog on a phone
( in such an old dingy as place )
but it,s all so smoothy an afternoon move
morgan a suitable case ??