a change of address or a lovers caress
crutchless an oinkment of lube
as just like the jam i,m no way all ham at midday i,m down in the tube
a ship with the floss as i,m down in king,s cross (the buskers the beggars the dire)
a girls she,s "t,pau" and just "like" so "wow" (come on baby light my fire)
as heading to south is he all motormouth (admags fingerlicking sherbert)
careless talk cost,s readers wives bananna,s it,s some crush hour herbert
as care in the stare but approach if you dare mr library,s mutters mutters
as he,s all stumbles and mumbles and mumbles
(and mutters as mutters as mutters)
but bank to the thank the titanic it sank as we,re now heading out east
as whine of the time as we go down the line he gets "like" so depressed
the muggers to thuggers neanders no tree huggers
 he just "like" get,s stressed
but now on the train well it,s time to refrain we,re millwall and best friend of chums
all swarthy and crews and tattoo,s to the shoes a glimpse of "like" builders as bum
the isle of the dog,s but there not there all hog,s enter a girl to the scene
eyes to the prize as the time it all flies a woman so keen to be seen
sexy as sec,s (it,s all flex to the pecs) all stockings and thigh high as skirt
a single to mingle so offer a pringle perhaps just an office as flirt
but sexy to vexy she,s no way all "rexy" a sight for these millwall were men
eye.s to thighs as we all view the prize she,d get "like" a ten out of ten
but kitty it purred as the thought it occurred
 (oh best friend" please make  my day)
would she find out in the words of the song , he,s a lumberjack but he,s o.k.
would he start to parade in his high heeled of shoes suspenders and a bra
he,s pat to the cat but he,s not all quite hat "not quite a jaguar"
and soap to a rope (you only can hope) would he need little convincing
to sail aborad the "tricky ricky"
 on it,s "maiden mincing"