a twilit  hall  . . .  at nobody,s ball a dingy old  ex pat
 and compliments corny from hideous horny 
like a flea thats just jumped up . . . off a rat
but all out luck like the turkey you,ll pluck and somehow back to mine
as the old clock tick tock,s ad it,s one o,clocks rocks
or  hail ye the simpering swine

people say the funniest things
 funniest things so (hi hic) drunk
a self obsessed psychologist hideous rideous lets talk punk
as like nick so let it slip oh so sorry drunken musing
lucky caroline can can,s home women,s lib not so amusing
so maybe not so guffaws laughter  not so ho ho romeo thanking
to know that she,s just so much better troy to coy than internet banking
but "girl for me" as drink to think books bear island try to bar
will the dukes get puke avengers anke huber vunderbar
but drunken mumble (said than bed) a topshelf mag (oh schoolgirl spanking)
slumping over beer slop table snoozing for boozing oh thomas the tanking
but beware where eagles dare the man who,s all sincere and care
rebel rebel pure mathematicsa man with such an awesome brain
to know that when it,s caroline choo choo
it,s time to let the train take the strain

carol she works for the d.h.s.s
so not like a bank that so likes to say yes
as she knows that there are means  as she knows that there are ways
as did the infamous marquis de sade when he wrote one hundred and twenty days
as whiled and smiled by some reviled in dungeon day,s in the bastille
locked or was it goldilocked ( he,d coped a cheap as thrill )
as outside her queen antoinette  ("oh let them all eat cake")
but in the times parisian grimes a half wit so to make
and so it was that carol knew  ( she,d so go so to toe the line)
when it came to claimants claim  and the fiddle me diddle and whine
that ( dop to stop to top your hats  to hapless fops aristopats
caught in the dread . . . don,t lose your head) that was her reign of terror )
as she checked the game  the street with no name
and the computor came up  . . . ."error"