had enough of the hey diddle diddle
the laughing gnome or the pig on a fiddle
then stay at the flat that,s sure as sure thingy and all sit around for the riddle me riddle
where theres no point and of course there,s no joint to his "charly farly pudding and highnes
or chick and mush from the old cash and larry for his all "slothy smarmy and slyness"
and then "chris the cretin" (well if you,d met him) with confidant so tricky mne ricky,s
we all sit arround for a gloria gossip  as jungily jane goes all knickers to nicky
as "ali oh ali oh let,s all get pally" hangs around at the end of the hall
a woman who,s alright in very small doses as long as they are very small
as we wait for a nick and a carol reunion banned from the union it,s just not a ball
a day at the races and hanbbags at paces as rob the gob says he,s heard it all
and then there,s the fallout,s the freakout,s and fallouts girl in the shadow,s and other so hums
but are we all the best of mates 
the very best of . . . chums ?

but lets,s not talk of ribauld quips
or rats deserting sinking ships
of irishmen in dingy bars  of chicky chicky,s kissing lips
but it,s a nifty fifty meter how you,d like to see her bathe
but whip yourself instead to lather lather as it,s time to shave
as i think of good times bad timescorridors and rooms with views
( what on earth should we tell chuck and randy how should we break unto them the news )
but beach boys california dreaminglets not twist or scream and shout
a smirkin gerkin of a lounger a hundred half knowns in and out
like kev blockhead (red than dead) how he drinks but no to tokes
as well as "awfully pass the water"home made stew a hundred jokes
as pats me fats it,s that bloke what bloke
steaming cowpat gibber gabber ware the stair pretend you care
on summer nights beach blubbing blabber
as i see them tete a teting down that dingy little hall
is she going out with him and  ......
does he really care at all

a glug glug of boats  it,s the men in white coats
they,re all coming to take you away
a high plains of drifter a sofa of shiftergo ahead punk and please make my day
but savy and chips that,s all served up with quipsa shame about the face
and dingy as cave or a lady to shave  it,s time to move out of this hole
as i go ponder and go for  wonder  and make my way up to the dole
and as the crow flies (or the dancing queen lies)he knows all the shortest of cut,s
no time for delay do we chat on the way sometimes there no if,s or no buts
but back in the hole with a joint there to roll  the t.v is making no sound
we all place our bets but what else don,t you get if you go turn it around
but sat on the ledge she,s been pushed to the edgeby her all handsome as beau
as she wait,s in time (she,s not first in the line)for the fickle of ex turn up show
but like bill and ben that was all now and  thenand this is the here and the now
but that,s all as true as a bare face of blueand the moon jumped right over the cow
but mark,s out of ten we fly chicky a.m and talk about daisy as cup
but is daisy daisy all dozy and lazy
 or trying to butter you up