if you go down to the wood,s today
you could be in for a big surprise
it,s guess hugh. . .  it,s bare faced blue
it,s pink my piggy as porky pies
but wht i,ve heard . . . don,t spread the word
spreading around llike a "tweety as bird"
as chit chat chit chat "lager lager"
"mind (hic) shoes"  in gents . . . but
in the lune of the old fool moon
as "owly howly". . .  howled out of tune
it got a bit . . .  intents ?

but a gunny bunny toquey tonquey
it,s my party boo hoo hoo
jane was there but she didn,t care for the jolly rodger pirate crew
and the blank frank crank as the ship it sank ... which no,one heard so all about
too much to drink so it,s in the sink ... he didn,t make her scream and shout
but spare the flair and she didn,t care ... she lived below the lower floor
a crocodile cock should have stayed in it,s sock but she didn,t call round any more
and a pattacake pie and i,ll tell you why .... a handy shandy ... mines a bud
he,ll talk the talk and he,ll walk the walk but was he really such a stud
but the not quite there of the vacant stare .... from "curry sue" she lived in dread
three,s company we might yet see and from behind the footsteps tread
and a five floor valley ... and dark back alley ... if it doesn,t go to plan
the "peepers pet" she had no net was he in truth a "businessma
but did the chicky cross the road and would the chicky yet call foul

pam was there with her ahoulders bare dressed only in a skimpy towel
cause "the hills have eyes" as the seagull flies even in the light of day
  where eagles dare or "neander care" .... a late lie in it,s cavemans way
cause dick and jane ... who we won,t yet blame .... did they once live across the road
some like it squat was it "thanks a lot" it,s said the heart in might implode
but frankenstein she made him whine and call out "money money money"
a doo da run ron strawberry bon bon a scrawny half beard honey honey
but a seven incher blakes a clincher the blank frank rumour it went round
we all so heard like the tweety bird that he,s selling england by the pound
but a pomme fritz pottage he once owned a cottag
e on wasteland somewhere near the sea

and a flora like spread like a beach balleen head
 but if he came home at half past three

but who,s the gene genie the mr has beany who once called out "ooh matron no"
would dave the slave would he turn in his grave if he heard the balleen whaling show
but it,s all hog-monay but at least it,s a play ... like in a sitcom friendships forge
and from overhead well it,s long been said
did someone call out "chicken george"

oh my "davy boo ho"how my love is true blue
let me in me let me in let me in
if for "davy boo hoo" and your love is true blue
but they,ll be no chinny chin chin
but my "davy boo hoo"  how my love is true blue
let me in let me in let me in
if for "davy boo hoo" assuredly true blue
they,ll still be no chinny chin chin
but though davy boo hoo perhaps it,s not so blue
(as she carries on with a shrug and a grin)
and maybe she,s all "readers wives"
 but down on your luck in such dingy as times

time for a pig in a gin