but a bouffant hair rincer in "ice station mincer"
 who,s on the mystery russian sub
and who,s just the heros the "ice station zero" ...
it comes the panic stations blub
cause a frozen roast chicken and gravy to licken
 it,s said that fate he rolled the dice
It,s the cruel hand of fate or just taurus of late or maybe it,s all just the slippery ice
and it,s ouching and cursing it,s tom thumb hand nursingc entral london,s whereabout
though "Michelle my belle" ... is she guessing as well ...that it,s not a royal knock one out
cause it,s said that "Denise" that she,s not one to please home alone in skimpy towel
Like a cold polar bear in the penquins small lair ...until the referee called fowl
cause it,s sub zero skating it,s big girly grating
 the snowman stands in the dwindling light
and some say that blue that it,s really the colour
but the snowman knew that it was really white

jill it,s all nobbing a black pud it,s gobbing
 meow . . . a cat called puss
  readers but whose wives and guess who,s got nine lives  (porkus prematurious)
cause sizzling a session a puss-in boots lesson chirpy me chicky cheep cheep
saggy me knockers are so off they,re rockers but would a wolf laugh at a sheep
as moaning all groaning all laughing boy gnoming just make sure . . . toady the line
but loneliness is swilling me . . . so
  piggy baby one more swine ??

but in a land of "library nutters"
"mr mumbles" mutters mutters
  unbuttoned slip a time to quip a sultry cardigan so fine
don,t make a fuss it,s 40 plus like it,s all mature a studied wine
as in a land of "buy one" "free" of "discounts" "deals" and "passes"
dd dowdy frump and proudy oversized as glasses
but hard times in theses rhymes it,s said that the clock chimes
 a damsel in distress and  grumpy
or maybe it,s all just back to mine for sizzling sultry "humpy frumpy"
  i,m no phoney "moany joany" what is it that i need to say
  and mademoiselle it,s "an/smiley"  mr darcy all the way
but "pride" or "sensibility"  ding dong ding dong wedding bells
but in the dark of "mansfield park"
  it,s said a true gent never tells

a pattacake chaser a pussycat racer (meow meow meow)
a hairspray gels the postman tells  which star sign is the plough
 the grease paint and lightening an actor receiting
a cinema show at the end of the day
regale the empire a leaflet a flierthe west ends a spend but it,s all holloway
but a dark rumour (and it,s not one to humour)
 the record,s it,s stuck and it,s groove to grooved
and "Simon,s in his dressing gown" .. .... but "nothing has been prooved"
but the sun and the moon  but they come out too soon
the darling buds but it,s not yet may
the lumiere in liecester square but push comes to shove at the end of the day
cause it,s withnail and i or a drink yet to ply
in hampstead some might yet bequeath
his mother came but we saw the game  the action played out all beneath
cause it,s not so nice for the three blind mice
  the record,s  it,s stuck and  it,s groove to grooved
and "Simons in his dressing gown" . . .  but "nothing has been prooved"