a taurus at armes  till it,s jackie at charms
"i thought i,d bang into you here"
as up through the ceiling the laughter it,s peeling
patto me fatto they jeer ??
a black magic orgy with georgy the porgy
but glory a cruel twist of fate
ahe,s somehow all frightful in no way delightful
a girl who,s no kiss me of kate
no oil of a painting we,re not contemplating
a fiqure that,s not there to please
but time and a place is he somehow two face
a cant see the wood for the trees ??

a pattacake chaser a pussycat racer (meow meow meow)
a hairspray gels the postman tells  which star sign is the plough
 the grease paint and lightening an actor receiting
a cinema show at the end of the day
regale the empire a leaflet a flierthe west ends a spend but it,s all holloway
but a dark rumour (and it,s not one to humour)
 the record,s it,s stuck and it,s groove to grooved
and "Simon,s in his dressing gown" .. .... but "nothing has been prooved"
but the sun and the moon  but they come out too soon
the darling buds but it,s not yet may
the lumiere in liecester square but push comes to shove at the end of the day
cause it,s withnail and i or a drink yet to ply
in hampstead some might yet bequeath
his mother came but we saw the game  the action played out all beneath
cause it,s not so nice for the three blind mice
  the record,s  it,s stuck and  it,s groove to grooved
and "Simons in his dressing gown" . . .  but "nothing has been prooved"

but a heathrow "desk" it,s "information"coconut airways confirmation
when it,s it T thingy A but it,s fly me todaya laughing gnome who,s going down
the stop stop start but she had a heart
the two page spread of the circus clown
and the terminal of terminal  the picadilly,s all of all
the northern line the hampstead whine michelle my belle but not so grand
the stop stop start ... who got the part  the no slouch couch of theatreland
  but then the claptrap in the mincetrap the west ends longest running play
but  who played poirot who did the giro the audience in enthrall sway
and  did miss marple . . .  somehow sparkle  did the lead forget his line
the bloodied lawn of zulu dawn ......  but then the mince of frankenstein
but then chanel of contemplation "afraid so" show sophistication
the "lumiere" in "leicester square" somewhere near we hear the sound
it,s the camp of maybe tramp musker busker underground
and coconut airways on the stairways escaltaor up or down
worzel gummidge on the rummage bohemian or circus clow
but in due time the bells they chime the roamless of the muttered stare
some ask why it,s worth a try but what was on at "leicester square"
  it,s all lez miz  who likes bucks fizz would the curtains come apart
woe is me it,s plain to see the backstage rumours come apart
as "alektraphobias flappus flap flaps" a wherefore art thou audience clap claps
the lawyer might .. he could be right ... he came out with a blinding clause
such tight leather .... but which ones heather
a mincer without a round of applause

but in a land of "library nutters"
"mr mumbles" mutters mutters
  unbuttoned slip a time to quip a sultry cardigan so fine
don,t make a fuss it,s 40 plus like it,s all mature a studied wine
as in a land of "buy one" "free" of "discounts" "deals" and "passes"
dd dowdy frump and proudy oversized as glasses
but hard times in theses rhymes it,s said that the clock chimes
 a damsel in distress and  grumpy
or maybe it,s all just back to mine for sizzling sultry "humpy frumpy"
  i,m no phoney "moany joany" what is it that i need to say
  and mademoiselle it,s "an/smiley"  mr darcy all the way
but "pride" or "sensibility"  ding dong ding dong wedding bells
but in the dark of "mansfield park"
  it,s said a true gent never tells

can you hear the chime of chime,s
in these dark uncertain times
was that a footstep on the stair or the tread of "wicked rhymes"
cause was it reallly . . . such a blast  is that the ghosty  . . .  x,max past
and do you feel like . . . mice near cheese who do you trust in  . . . times like these
and do you sit with telly down and then hear him "mr clown"
has he been lost and now been found
  cause in the end who,s gone to ground