but did the turkey come to harm ( did himmler run a chicken farm )
casuse in the dread well it,s been said her majesty was on the throne
its there to see on i.t.v who,s in the chums of navarone
 on i.t.v. you watch for free but just don,t pass the buck

the girl you see meant all to he till he run out of cluck
  it,s been said a hotal bed maybe that,s not true
it,s not so right in black and white but then it,s world war two
cause as out in the quadron  it,s  "mince mince mince squadron" action stations go
  eat a bun the hun the sun "roger tallyho"
cause herman he,s goring the thought it,s occuring doodlebug the ritz
so some say ( in a podgy play) lights out in a blitz
as bluffing or muffing who,s turkey who,s stuffing sage and onion all
jingle bells the porky tell,s singing six fet tall

i,ve never met a mince south african
but it,s ooh la la la and it,s oh so "can can"
  but jungle jane a laughing gnome
 i,m living in an ideal home
 an x,mas special hand to glove
 it,s bring me sunshine bring me love

cause santa paws is coming to town
but he,s wearing big girls tights
twinlke toes that,s how it goes it,s x,mas fairy lights
but insane in the brain on my window refrain would girly shirley flee
but an all monster mash when it,s kensington flash
but who,s more than a woman to me
but madonna "true blue" as he,s all so "boo hoo"
we call out encore all the way

"you can tell by the way i use my walk"

that it,s such a good play for today
cause thicken to chicken kentucky fried licken
 we know that it,s all coming down

now  we,ve now see the dancers dance
it,s time now  bring on the clwn

(cause scrooge is a stooge  with his lipstick rouge)
  a dagger to heart it,s a blow
  "fernando" fought at  "waterloo"
  it,s a royal varity show

a snowdon shake soho the vertigo go show
it,s pie in the sky but we all look down
it,s bunnies for funnies or funnies for bunnies
alas poor gloria gossip the clown
so it,s fry,s in sty,s verses legal high,s
all hail the snail the buch of grapes
as the fridge it still hummeth the adman he cometh
and it,s ducky dark do,s hid in ducky dark drapes
but "if you want the best then try everest"
it,s time now for "watch with mother"

cause "we are the diddy men" "the diddy" from one to the other
as the bunny hop hop,s to the tippytee top,s
 like it,s raspberry ripple ice cream man

but we still live in dread as we hear the dark tread
of the t.v licence detector van